oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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