i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
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what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
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