I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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