Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across