Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.