We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it