once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup