it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
