She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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