You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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