Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
