it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
