i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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