Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
