Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
