So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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