He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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