she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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