Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
