i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
even my farts smell like vagina
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
