woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
