Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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