Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
