There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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