I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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