I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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