I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
