Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
