ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize