dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
