Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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