The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
