ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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