38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
