remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
