I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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