she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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