She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
