All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
