He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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