I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
