he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
