Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
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She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
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If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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