Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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