I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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