no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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