Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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