ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
