Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
