He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
