Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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