Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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