she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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