last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
