i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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