At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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