Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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