I want to walk on stilts...naked
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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