Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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