you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
