I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
