Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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