Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
