we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
