were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
