Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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