Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize