when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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