Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You just made me feel so damn special
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
