Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
