I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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