My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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