mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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