You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
